Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
