I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize