let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm too high and old for this...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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