She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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