Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
