The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
