I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
