come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize