I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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