i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
