I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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