my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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