i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
