he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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