she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
