Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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