bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize