After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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