I feel great
I just peed on a car
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
