I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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