The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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