can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
smell my finger.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
