"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
