And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
