grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
