similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
