She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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