I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently you make a good broom.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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