I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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