just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
