Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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