i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
