My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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