bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
