Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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