you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
operation have a gay friend backfired
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
