seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize