friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
