So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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