I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize