it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
