coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
