I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize