The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
