oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You can't special order awesome
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
