Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is Oprah even human
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
