they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
