Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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