Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
