So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
