I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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