Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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