kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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