i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
