yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
