Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
