I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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