I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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