He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
