Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize