Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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