i would punch a child for taco bell
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
