I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
