Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
