I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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