I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
