i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize