she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
