You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
