he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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