Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize